What was the last thing to go through the bug's mind when it hit the windshield? His butt. What did the daddy tamoto say to the baby tamoto? Hurry up and catchup?? My kids' favorite: Why do sharks swim in salt water? What do you call something full with enless letters A mailbox By my friend. Two originals from our house: What kind of boat goes around a castle? A Moat-or boat! Which part of the car has the most fun? First place winner in the Iowa State Fair kids joke contest a few years back.

Impatient chicken. Impat-- Baaawwwck! Radio who? Radio not, here I come! What do you call a monkey when you take it's banannas? Furious George. Knock Knock Who's there? Duane Duane who?

Duane the tub, I''m Drowning! Because he wasn't peeling well. Q: what side of a turkey has the money at feathers? A: the outside of course. Q: why do pilgrims pants always fall down? A: because their belt buckle is on their hat. Q: how do you keep a turkey in suspense? A: I'll let you know next week What is pink and runs through the dessert? A herd of strawberry yoghurt I would like to feature you on my new fb group, Homeschool Warriors Village. Did u hear about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine?

What did the doggy say when he walked over the sand paper? A: "rough, rough " ruff, ruff. Here's the full elephant-in-the fridge joke as I remember it. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him! Q:what do you call a spider with no eye A:a spder Q:what do you call a fish with no eye A:a fsh. Q: What do you call a bear with no ear? A: An ear less "b". What type of infection does a book have? Book worms! What do you call a sleeping bull? What did one egg say to the other egg after they told a joke?

You crack me up. Variation: Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? So he could hide in a cherry tree! Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? See, it works! My grandaughters favorite: What's in the middle of a gummy bear?

A jelly button Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot. What do you get when you cross a tiger and a lamb? A striped sweater! Why did darth Vader cross the road? To get to the dark side. What do u get when u cross a rolling pin, and a stone? Lol I agree. What did the wall say to his mom?

I'll meet u at the corner! Why do seagulls fly over the sea A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be called baygulls Get it lol. Why did the chicken get a penalty? What did the red traffic light say to the green traffic light? Don't look I'm changing. What do you call a dinosaur with no legs Doyathinkhesaurus?? What is the Easter bunnys fav breakfast A.

My 5 year old granddaughter told me these. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here I'm going on ahead. Why can't the a bike stand up? Because it's to tired. Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing! Why do you call a dog that can tell time? Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide. Q: why did the duck cross the road?

A; She had to ask the chicken a quacktion. What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck! Maybe more one for Mum and Dad. Doctor Doctor, who? Yes, that's right. Please can I get your help? My tardis is broken. Q: What is something you can catch but you can not throw? A cold!!!! A clock Q: What music does a mummy like best?

Wrap music. I got one how do a dog stop a video He pressed the pawse button. I have a joke: What do you call a cow with one leg? Answer: Steak. Why did the kettle get so hot? A It wanted to blow off steam.. Why did the jellybean want to go to school? Because he wanted to be a smartie! Q: What did one snowman say to another? Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crumby. Why did the dentist give the little girl laughing gas? To make her teeth feel funny!

What is gray and has a trunk? A mouse going on a long vacation. What to Cow astronauts do? Answer: Koality stuff 2 How do aliens arrange space parties? Answer: They plan-et. Why is it so easy to weigh a fish? What happened to the ice cream when the ice cream truck broke down? It was liquidated. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill Why To get to the bottom.

You are a fun-gi. Here's a good joke for you: what did the fisherman say to the magician. Pick a cod any cod. I think these were funny joke for kids, I looked all through them. They were so, so funny!? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just me!

Amos who? Amos-quito bit me! Q: What did one bannana phone say to the other banana phone? I lava you! How does Steve get his exercise? He runs around the block! Q which room has no door? A a mushroom. Q which dog has no tail? A a hot dog. Railway crossing, watch out for the cars. How do you spell that without any Rs? Joke: How do you make a kleenex dance?

Answer: Put a boogie in it! How do you make a handkerchief dance?? Blue little boogie in it. Blowb a little boogie in it. Why did the banana go to the hospital? Why did Adele cross the road because she wanted to say hello from the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away for chick- fil -a! Knock, Knock. Who's There? Rattle Who? Rattle eat cheese if you leave it out for him. Whats a pirate's favourite letter? Joke-How does a meteoroligist go up a Mountain? Answer-They climate. What does the moon do when he gets too long hair? Eclipse it. My pops joke: Q: what do you call a deer in the rain? A: a rain-deer.

Q: What did the ranch say to the refrigerator? A: Shut the door, I'm dressing! How do you make a tissue dance? Today's Top Stories. The Rise of the Cleanfluencer. BraunS Getty Images. What did one wall say to the other wall? Knock, knock. Isabel who? Isabel not working? What has four wheels and flies? Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? What do sprinters eat before a race? What do pirates pay for corn? Icy who? Icy you in there!

What do you call an illegally parked frog? Why are elevator jokes so good? How does the moon cut his hair?

Ice cream. Ice cream who? Why did an old man fall in a well? Hailing taxis! How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

About a buck an ear. Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her! How do you talk to a giant? Use big words! What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? His ghoul-friend. What building in New York has the most stories? The public library! What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves! How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut! What do you call two birds in love? How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints! How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night! How can you tell a vampire has a cold? She starts coffin. Finding half a worm. What is a computer's favorite snack? Computer chips!! They do, just not in public. What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon. What did the banana say to the dog? What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience. A stick. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because she will let it go. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles! How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. What's green and can fly? Super Pickle! Knock knock. Interrupting pirate.

Interrupting pir — yarrrrrr! What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me! What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.

Where do vampires keep their money? A blood bank. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet. What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador. Where do pencils go on vacation? Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel. Why did the banana go to the doctor? What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world? A stamp. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch. What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque. What do you call a funny mountain? Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud! There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. Who is left? Knock knock! Boo who? In baseball, would it take longer to run from 1 st to 2 nd base or 2 nd to 3 rd base?

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? It ran out of juice. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary? The thesaurus. Do these genes make my butt look big? They have two left feet. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe? Kid: What are you doing under there? Mom: Under where? Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!! Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon? Because it was full. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks. What happened when the skunk was on trial? The judge declared, "Odor in the court, odor in the court! What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie talkie. Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was a-head. Who's there? Dishes who? Dishes me, who are you? Donut who? Donut ask me, I just got here. What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob? Use a door jam. Why didn't the robot finish his breakfast?

Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.